


Ten Cups of Coffee and You're Still Not Here

by S394206H



Category: Saturday Night Live, Weekend Update (SNL)
Genre: Amy Poehler is a Good Friend, Established Relationship, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, Kenan Thompson is a Little Shit, M/M, Seth Meyers Needs a Nap, Seth Misses his Husband, What Really Happened When Seth Returned to Host
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-07
Updated: 2018-11-07
Packaged: 2019-08-20 03:09:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16547711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/S394206H/pseuds/S394206H
Summary: Seth expects his return to SNL to be some kind of grand homecoming, but what he gets might be even better in the end.





	Ten Cups of Coffee and You're Still Not Here

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my first published fic! I hope you enjoy!

Despite moving to a studio literally across the hall, Seth had always imagined his return to SNL as a sort of grand homecoming, with as many of his close friends in attendance as possible and all the memories and nostalgia of his twelve years there woven into every joke of the night.

 

He didn’t get nearly what he expected.

 

When Amy called and told him she wasn’t going to be able to make it, well, he couldn’t deny that it stung a bit. He understood that she was busy, how could he not, but she was his best friend. Returning to the Update desk without her was going to be rough- even after doing it solo for so long, she was always a comforting presence to have by his side when he was nervous.

 

She was apologetic, of course, rambling anxiously about x show and y project and how she was so so _so_ sorry, she wished she could fly out but the timing wouldn’t work, and how she _knew_ it wouldn’t be the same but she had already called Colin and given him permission to do _Really?_ without her, and please, please, can you ever forgive me Seth I love you so much!

 

“Amy. Breathe. I know how busy things can get- I’m not mad at you.” Seth reassured her.

 

“I still feel bad, like I’m abandoning a child.” She sighed dramatically. “I guess you’re just gonna have to book me on _Late Night_ , so I can make it up to you, and perhaps I’ll oh, I don’t know, maybe talk about my show while I’m there, or not, I mean anything could happen really…”

 

Seth laughed. “I’ll see what I can do. I just miss you a lot.”

 

“I miss you too- ah, shit. _Hi, kids!_ ” She sighed. “The boys are home- I’m gonna have to let you go. I’ll call you next time I’m headed to the city!”

 

However, the other, even more crushing blow, had already come weeks before on the day they confirmed the date Seth was going to host.

 

It wasn’t Stefon’s _fault_ that they invited Seth back to host SNL the same week that he had committed to promote the opening of LA’s hottest new club, “Soup,” but it didn’t help the situation much. It _really_ didn’t help that the club opened on Saturday night, effectively killing any chance that Stefon had of even watching the show as it aired.

 

“This suuucccks, Seth Meyers!” Stefon whined as he packed yet another pair of leather pants into his rhinestone-encrusted suitcase. “The most important night you’ve had in forever, and I have to miss it and leave you all alone! What if you can’t take the pressure? What if something goes terribly wrong? What if they hold you hostage and Stefon never sees you again?”

 

“Stef _on_.” Seth laughed, sitting up from his position in their bed and grabbing his husband’s hand. “Relax. It’s only a week, and I’ve done it a million times before. I can handle it.”

 

Stefon zipped the overflowing suitcase and sat on the edge of the bed, fiddling with the ends of his sleeves.

 

“Hey,” Seth said, moving to sit next to him. “What’s up?”

 

“...Stefon feels like he’s letting everyone down by not being there.”

 

Seth blinked in surprise. “Why would you think that? You have a successful career and your own commitments to take care of...why would you be letting people down by not being at my show?”

 

Stefon sighed. “Did you know that we haven’t appeared on TV together in over three years?”

 

“What does that have to do with anything?”

 

Stefon suddenly looked very small. “So… people are invested in us, in our relationship. They want to know that we’re still together, right? What if, by me not showing up, people think I’m a bad husband? I know people have been saying it- every news website in the world is wondering if I’m gonna show up on Saturday. If I don’t, I’m gonna disappoint them all, and-”

 

Seth shut him up with a kiss. “Hey. Look at me. You are a wonderful husband, and a wonderful father. You’re not letting anyone down. Sure, people are going to be disappointed that you’re not there. People were disappointed when I couldn’t be there for your return, right?” Stefon nodded. “You don’t owe anyone anything, okay? You’re gonna go to LA and have an awesome time, and I’m gonna go back to the show and also have an awesome time. You can tell anyone who gives you shit about not being there to fuck off, okay?”

 

Stefon smiled. “Seth Meyers, you always know just what to say to make me feel better. But Stefon still feels bad leaving you all alone for a week! How will you survive?”

 

Seth laughed. “Just because the kids are with my parents for the week doesn’t mean that I’m gonna be alone- I have Bark and Frisbee to keep me company. Besides, I’ll be too busy all week to be lonely.”

 

Stefon laughed, pushing Seth against the pillows with a twinkle in his eye. “If you insist, Seth Meyers! Now hush- my flight leaves in three hours and I’d like to leave my husband with a few souvenirs to… _remember me by.”_

 

* * *

 

Seth was right- he was entirely too busy to even think about being lonely. The rush of the show was familiar yet exhausting, and he found himself struggling significantly more than he used to. On more than one occasion he found himself dozing off into his coffee, only to be shaken awake moments later by an aide, or, more embarrassingly, a cast member.

 

“I think you’ve gone soft on us, Seth.” He picked his head up out of his arms and blinked at the doorway to find Kenan smirking at him. “A few years away from the live scene and you can’t hang anymore. That hurts, man.”

 

“Fuck off.” Seth yawned. “I have two kids and a husband that doesn’t abide by the construct of day and night. This is nothing.”

 

Kenan raised an eyebrow. “The bags under your eyes say otherwise, Meyers. You sure you don’t need some more coffee? A nap? After all, you’re the prodigal son, returning home all the way home from the far-off land of 8G. I bet you could get someone to wipe your ass for you if you asked.” He laughed, ducking to dodge the wadded up piece of paper Seth haphazardly threw at him.

 

“Can I help you with something, or did you just come here to give me shit?” Seth asked, rubbing his eyes blearily.

 

“Nah, as fun as giving you shit is, they actually do need you. Mary Ellen’s ready to take bumper photos.”

 

Seth yawned again, finally standing up and stretching his arms out to his sides. _Bumper photos...hmm…_ He downed the rest of his now-cold coffee and winced at the disgusting taste before heading to the door. “Thanks for the heads up, man.” He said, clapping Kenan on the shoulder as he moved past him.

 

“No problem, Seth.” He made it halfway down the hall before he heard Kenan’s voice holler out again from behind him.

 

“Hey, Meyers! You may want to button your shirt back up before someone notices all those hickies!”

 

Seth whirled around and hurled his now-empty coffee cup at Kenan, who was already sprinting away with a shit-eating grin on his face. From the other end of the hall he could see Kate and Cecily trying to stifle giggles as Seth quickly did the top three buttons back up on his shirt.

 

_God damn it, Thompson._

 

* * *

 

Despite the chaos of the week, there were a few bright spots that kept Seth going through it all. It was great to be back with his old friends, and he was having a fun time getting to know everyone who had come onto the show after he’d left. Shy, Stefon’s best friend-slash-lawyer-slash-piss artist had taken Bark Ruffalo and Frisbee on a trip to the dog park to play with his gargoyle of a French Bulldog, and the resulting pictures immediately got uploaded to Seth’s Instagram, along with a shot of the two-year-old twins passed out on top of each other after a long day at the zoo with grandma. Stefon kept sending him detailed and often graphic updates of what he was doing in LA (“Look, Seth! I found this pile of vomit on the ground that had all the pride colors _and_ glitter in it! Gay rights!”) and before Seth knew it, it was Saturday night. Dress rehearsal had been a blur (although he distinctly remembered going back and forth with Kenan about how much they missed each other to rile up the audience,) and before he knew it they were seven minutes out from going live. Seth could feel the old nerves of his early days starting to creep back up on him, so he ducked past a wigless Alec Baldwin-Trump into an empty room for a few moments of peace and quiet.

 

Seth sighed, letting the blissful silence of the dark room wash over him. _Finally_. He flicked on the light as he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. He knew Stefon would be finalizing things at the club, and that calling him was a long shot, but he needed to hear his husband’s voice. He started pacing back and forth across the small room as the call dialed.

 

“ _If this is you, Seth Meyers, Stefon wants you to know that he loves you and you’re going to do great tonight and that coke is still an option if you’re nervous. If this isn’t Seth Meyers, you have the wrong number. Byeeeee!”_

 

Seth smiled to himself as he hung up the phone. It wasn’t perfect, but just hearing Stefon’s voice on the answering machine was enough to calm him down at least a little. He slipped out the door and started to make his way to the stage: he could do this.

 

* * *

 

Seth didn’t _really_ want to make an appearance at the afterparty, but he kind of owed it to all his old friends to at least show up for a few minutes. Sure, partying and socializing were nice, but all he really wanted to do was go home and curl up in bed with his dogs. Besides, parties were never the same without Stefon- Seth had wondered for a while if all of Stefon’s crazy club stories and antics were true, but after experiencing them for himself he didn’t know how he ever could have doubted him. Stefon took to parties like a fish to water: he was an expert at reading a room and figuring out just what he could do to liven things up. Seth sighed into his drink- he just really missed his husband.

 

Taking yet another glance at his watch, Seth collapsed into a chair at the edge of the room and pulled out his phone to request an Uber. As soon as he confirmed the ride, he felt a familiar presence slip into the seat next to him.

 

“You’re not leaving us already, are you?” said Cecily with a smirk. “We’ve barely been here an hour, Seth- I think you’ve gone soft on us!”

 

Seth groaned. “Can everyone stop telling me that? I admit it- I’m out of practice. Sue me.”

 

Cecily giggled. “Relax. We’re just giving you shit- we miss you a lot, you know.”

 

“I miss you guys too, but you _do_ know I work across the hall, right?”

 

“It’s not the _same_ , Seth!”

 

He laughed. “I know what you mean. I do miss it here, more than I thought I would- it’s weird, being back, you know? So much is the same, but so much else is different.”

 

Cecily smiled. “I understand. And, in all honesty, no one will blame you if you take off now- you’re clearly exhausted. You could fit a week’s worth of luggage in the bags under your eyes.”

 

Seth chuckled, looking down at his phone to see that his ride was waiting outside. He said goodbye to Cecily and slipped out the door and into the waiting car. Most of the ride back to his apartment was a blur, and the next thing he knew he was unlocking his front door, ready to collapse into bed. He started to make his way to the bedroom, loosening his tie as he went.

 

“Well hello to you too, Seth Meyers!”  


Seth turned and was greeted with the sight of his husband curled up in the couch, Frisbee in his lap, and Bark Ruffalo at his feet.

 

“Stefon? You’re supposed to be in California until tomorrow!”

 

Stefon got up and pressed a finger to Seth’s lips. “Shush. Stefon pulled some strings so that he could come home and see Seth Meyers host the show. You did fantastic, by the way- Stefon liked his shoutout at the end!”

 

Seth melted into Stefon’s arms, holding his husband close. “ _I missed you so much_.” he whispered.

 

Stefon smiled, rubbing Seth’s back. “Stefon missed you too. Now, come on, let’s get Mr. Big-Shot-Late-Night-TV-Host to bed! You look worse than the time Black George Washington tried Apocalypse Shots with one of the Human Pinatas.”

 

“Stefon, what even i-”

 

“Tequila and Red Bull mixed with liquid THC. They didn’t wake up for two days. Now _bed._ You look like you _need_ to sleep for two days!”

 

So maybe Seth’s big return to SNL hadn’t been the grand homecoming he’d expected, but as his husband curled up next to him and the dogs settled at their feet, he knew it didn’t really matter: his home had been right here with him all along.

**Author's Note:**

> Soup” is indeed a reference to Bill Hader's show "Barry"
> 
> Seth’s show does tape in studio 8G, and Mary Ellen Matthews is SNL’s official photographer 
> 
> “Gay rights!” is a shoutout to [Lilia](billhader.tumblr.com) whose birthday I wrote this for!
> 
> The thing with Seth and Kenan at dress actually [happened](https://www.reddit.com/r/LiveFromNewYork/comments/9o6ak0/i_was_at_dress_last_night_a_few_things_i_noticed/)
> 
> The idea of Alec Baldwin in the trump costume but without the wig was so fucking funny to me that I couldn't not include it
> 
> Title is from Homecoming by Green Day


End file.
